one year


Last year at this time I had just moved to this state, left a relationship of six years, and started the rest of my life.

This year, I’ve settled into life in the country, have made some friends, and have put my life into God’s hands.

Last year I was struggling to  define who I was, to understand how I fit into my family, and was getting a handle on being a single parent.

This year I stand confidently for what I believe in, I have a fluid definition of family, and can settle into the role that is needed at any particular moment, and I have learned to live with only showering twice a week.

Last year I was terrified of the future.

This year, the future looks blindingly bright.

One of my friends from FB posted this quote today:

“If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection”  ~ Mitchel Burgess

And reflect I have.  And you know what?  I’m proud of what I see.  Starting over and building a new life is messy.  I’ve struggled through the muck, and emerged on the other side strong and pleased to be alive.

I want to post this video or Rowan, not because he’s being particularly cute, or because he does something amazing.  He’s simply happy to alive.  To be here.  To be him.  In the past year he has blossomed and thrived, and grown from a bubbly baby into a talking, singing, jumping, and joyful kid.  We spent a couple of hours yesterday raking and jumping and raking and jumping.  The weather was perfect, it was just the two of us, and I couldn’t help but marvel at how far we’ve come in just one  year.

3 thoughts on “one year

  1. Amazing what a difference a year makes. 🙂 I didn’t know you were dating someone, and I’m SO glad to hear it. I know you can take care of you and Rowan all by yourself, but having a connection with someone that is just yours, just for you and someone special, is so enriching. If anyone deserves that kind of happiness, it’s you. I’m really proud of you, and of Rowan, and the life you’re building. You’re strong strong strong, and resilient. Your future really is bright, and I’m looking forward to seeing it with eager anticipation. *hugs*

  2. Your writing is inspiring and moving. Your boy is beyond beautiful and to hear what you have lost/left and read that your outlook on the future is more than positive & is more than just “thought provoking”. I am encouraged both for you and perhaps some for myself too. I’ve lost more than I can even share yet I am gaining (have not yet “arrived”) an abundant life that can only come through acceptance which I can only gain through life with Christ Jesus. No condemnation, no judgement, just true love, no matter where I’ve been or even all the cruddy things I’ve done!

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