After witnessing my son get mad at CooCoo the Rocking Clown, and telling CooCoo that he needs to listen to him or get a time out (mirroring his own life much?), I teasingly asked Rowan, “Where did you come from?”
“God made me!”
“Yes, He did make you, and you grew in Mommy’s tummy.”
“See pictures, please?”
Recently Rowan has learned that he was once a baby, couldn’t walk or run, and spent most of his days sleeping. It took him a while to come to grips with this reality, seeing as he never stops talking or running now, and sleeping has become a dirty word to him. To help him better understand that being a baby wasn’t a bad thing, in fact he was cute and cuddly and really good, we’ve been looking at his baby pictures, and watching some home movies.
So after looking at these lovely examples of his awesome baby-ness, he wanted to see the photos of himself inside my belly. He looked at the ultrasounds, and was adamant that was not him, but rather a “bug.” Okay.
I pulled out the pregnancy photos, and he was just astounded. He wanted to hear all about what he did in my tummy, how he got in, how he got out, and, “Please I go back in now?”
“No Rowan. You may not go back in.”
Is it a little early for him to be asking about this stuff? I don’t know if it is, but I’m a firm believer in just stating the facts, using correct terms, not nick-naming body parts, or omitting facts. I explained how he started out in as simple terms as I could, and he listened and accepted what he heard. Mostly he wanted to get to the part where “Mom’s tummy blew up like a balloon!”
This is the last picture of Rowan in my tummy, other than ones of me actually giving birth. He was born two days after this photo:
Rowan looked at this photo for several moments without saying anything. He put his head on my shoulder, and sighed.
“What are you thinking, Baby?”
“I think I was waving to the doggie.”
“You mean while you were in my belly?”
“Yes. Kaia was arfing at me, so I waved. Kaia looks at me growing. She said grow big in Mamma’s tummy! Come out now, Rowan!”
“And you did come out. I’m glad you did. You’re a lot more fun out here.”
“I can be more loud out here. And I can laugh better.”
I grinned, kissed his temple, and he left.
Rowan and I have been on our own for the past few days, and I must say, we’ve been having a great time. Here is a little peek into our Saturday morning:
Shortly after this video was shot, Rowan told me a story about making snakes out of play-play(play doh), that he was going to dice (I’ve been teaching him culinary terminology when we cook together) with Betty (the woman that cuts his hair). Then he and his stuffed dog named Goog were going to run, run, run fast.
Oh yeah, his reaction to seeing this video of himself: “Super cute!”
Last year at this time I had just moved to this state, left a relationship of six years, and started the rest of my life.
This year, I’ve settled into life in the country, have made some friends, and have put my life into God’s hands.
Last year I was struggling to define who I was, to understand how I fit into my family, and was getting a handle on being a single parent.
This year I stand confidently for what I believe in, I have a fluid definition of family, and can settle into the role that is needed at any particular moment, and I have learned to live with only showering twice a week.
Last year I was terrified of the future.
This year, the future looks blindingly bright.
One of my friends from FB posted this quote today:
“If winter is slumber and spring is birth, and summer is life, then autumn rounds out to be reflection” ~ Mitchel Burgess
And reflect I have. And you know what? I’m proud of what I see. Starting over and building a new life is messy. I’ve struggled through the muck, and emerged on the other side strong and pleased to be alive.
I want to post this video or Rowan, not because he’s being particularly cute, or because he does something amazing. He’s simply happy to alive. To be here. To be him. In the past year he has blossomed and thrived, and grown from a bubbly baby into a talking, singing, jumping, and joyful kid. We spent a couple of hours yesterday raking and jumping and raking and jumping. The weather was perfect, it was just the two of us, and I couldn’t help but marvel at how far we’ve come in just one year.