Here’s my heart!

Rowan and I have been discussing Valentine’s Day, what it means, how it started, and how it’s celebrated.

He has decided that I will be his valentine, we will get married, and have a date.  Yeah, I’ll start looking into therapists for him now….

Anyway, this morning he pulled out his magna-doodle and told me he was going to draw love.  I was totally intrigued, and peered over his shoulder as he drew this:

Without any prompting he said, are you ready for this?!?!   “Mama, here’s my heart for you!”  HE DREW ME A HEART AND THEN GAVE IT TO ME!  

I KNOW!!!!! 

I’ve been a little off my rocker lately, so I did tear up, and hugged him, and told him he was the sweetest valentine ever.  He let me gush over him for about 30 seconds, and then couldn’t tolerate it any longer.  Still, a very tender moment.

Now that I’ve made a total fool of myself, I’ll go.  But don’t think I won’t bring this up on his first Valentine’s day with his special someone.  I’ll totally cry and pull out that picture, and then maybe this one:

Valentine's Day 2010


Mama’s a Party

That last post is depressing as all get out, so I thought I’d offer a little pick-me-up…..

I know there is no way to measure how much I love my son, but I can certainly give examples of why I love him:

I was holding Rowan when we walked past a shelf that had a lollypop on it.  He thought that he was stealthy grabbing it, when I caught him, and asked him what was in his hand.  He giggled, and stuffed the lollypop down my sweatshirt.  I set him down, and Rowan gripped the bottom of my sweatshirt and shook out the candy. 

It fell on the floor which led to a chorus of, “Mama’s a piñata!  Mama’s a party!” 

After composing myself we each had a lollypop and a “milk shape.”

EXACTLY what I needed after such a horrible week.  He is my hero.


My parents took Rowan to church with them this morning.  I’m home alone, save for my Grandma, who will sleep the morning away.  The past four days I have been plagued with a migraine, cold-sweats, nausea, and exhaustion so severe, it’s worse than having a newborn.  I don’t know exactly what’s going on, and needless to say, tomorrow I’m going to go see my doctor, and get myself checked out.

It’s been an amazingly hard few days.  My poor little boy has kind of been put on the back burner.  Well, not really, Bapa and Nana have occupied him, and I’ve sat with him for hours, half-aware of the books we were reading, and the movies we were watching.  We’ve built towers with me laying on the floor, and colored on the bathroom floor, so I can be near the, um, amenities.  I feel horrible and guilty and like I’m depriving my son of his mother.  If the migraine doesn’t kill me, the guilt will. 

I’m being forced to dig deep, put my head down, and just plow through the pain.  It’s hard.  It’s really, really hard.  All I want to do is curl up in bed, cry, or stand in a hot shower for hours.  Those aren’t really options though, so my days have been dragging.  I’ve been going to bed when Rowan does, but have been unable to sleep soundly.  It’s just awful.

I just feel miserable and grumpy and helpless, and want to get back to our normal, lovely, happy life.  For now, it’s time to take advantage of my solitude, and rest.

Dear Rowan,

On Monday you fell off the bed and sprained your arm.  Your left arm.  That’s tough stuff for an active, independent, left-handed toddler.  Once again though, you taught me a lesson in adaptability, patience, and good ol’ fashion relaxing.

I am not exactly stellar at any of the above.  Life has a way of forcing you to learn what you need to learn, though, and who am I to ignore these lessons?  Oh, not to mention that if you try to fight it, it’s just going to come back and bite you in the butt.  So, Rowan, when things get hard, it just means God has something to teach you.  Don’t fight it, it’ll just make things harder.

Since you hurt your arm, all you really want to do is watch Air Bud.  It’s a cheesy movie about a golden retriever that plays basketball.  You love it.  No, you are OBSESSED with it.  The first couple times we watched it, I just enjoyed cuddling with you.  We snuggled, you asked me to marry you, complete with slipping a plastic purple ring onto my pinkie.  You then asked me, “Marry me means?”  I told you it meant we’d love each other for forever.  You laughed and said it would only be two more hours.  I guess the sanctity of marriage really is on the rocks… 

Anyway, after about the fourth viewing of Air Bud, I couldn’t take it any more, and started to fidget.  I was paying bills, piling books, anything I could do while sitting in a chair with you on my lap.  You were not impressed and told me to stop touching your arm.  It hurt.  So I stopped, wrapped my arms gently around you, and we watched the movie together.  This time you had my full attention, and I know you can’t express it, but I could tell by how you put your head on my shoulder that you appreciated it.  Sometimes I wonder who is the adult in this relationship.

This morning you were feeling SO much better.  You even dismantled a train flashlight, one-handed.  You figured out how to control your world with one hand really quickly.  Faster than I could have adjusted.  You’re so adaptable, you make me want to be more like you.  When your world suddenly changed on you, you easily went with the flow, and didn’t even stumble. 

My favorite though, was when you sat yourself in your red chair, in the center of the play room, and did a one handed version of “The Itsy-bitsy Spider”.  Priceless.

I’m glad you’re feeling better Rowan. 

Love, Mama

This Moment

{This moment}-A Friday ritual.  A single photo-no words-capturing a moment from the week.  A simple, special, extraordinary moment.  A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember.  If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

Snow day

We started by making organic peanut butter play-doh.  It’s quite simple and delicious! 
‎1/2 cup peanut butter
1/4 cup honey
4-6 oz. corn meal

Combine together peanut butter and honey. Add the corn meal until it reaches the desired consistency.

The Ingredients

   I got the peanut butter and honey from a grocery store in Lewisburg, and the corn meal was imported from Sunflower, my favorite market in Albuquerque.  I miss that city and the people…that’s a whole different post though. 

Rowan has got this cooking stuff under control. I'm just there to control the mess.



Following the play-doh party, we had a romantic picnic on the play room floor.

An organic lunch! Peanut butter and jelly on homemade bread, apples, "wine"(organic cranberry juice with carbonated water), and smarties for dessert. (okay, those aren't organic.)


Cheers! Here's to an awesome day!


After we fueled up we headed outside for a little shoveling and a little fun.

Seriously, Rowan? Must you be that cute?

Then it was back inside for popcorn and a movie!

After our viewing of Free Willy (I’m not kidding.  He loved it!), my mom, who is an antique dealer, wanted to use Rowan as a model.  She acquired an old Eton Boarding School uniform, from about 1915.  We bribed Rowan with Pez and a new truck to wear the uniform and let us take pictures so she can sell it on Ebay.

Yeah, it was as adorable as it looks. 

It was a nearly perfect day, and to counteract that perfectness, Rowan dumped a can of wet cat food into my boot, put it on, and walked around the living room.  He then took it off, walked around with cat food stuck to his sock, and then told me about the whole thing.